The eight years preceding this last year were the most
difficult in our lives, but this past year including the present day has been,
and is, sweet. My husband and I say
something about it to each other every day.
And every day, we are profoundly grateful.
Why were those eight years so difficult? Because of normal situations that countless
people in this fallen world face every day:
fathers who have heart attacks and eventually die of congestive heart
failure; mothers who lose their identity and their will to live when their
husbands die; husbands who lose jobs; caring for elderly parents who are
depressed and take their toxic unhappiness out on their grown children; dealing
with the stress that wakes you up like a vice-grip in your chest in the wee
hours of the morning. Stuff like that.
Although those years took their toll, they also granted us
incredible blessings in the midst of the difficulties. We learned God’s faithfulness to provide
everything that we need: enabling grace to do the seemingly impossible; the
promise and experience of his presence; the love of spouse and friends; the hope
of heaven. In caring for our parents, we
had the satisfaction of “laying their heads gently down,” as my husband would
say, to their final breath.
And in the year and a half since, we now have gainful
employment, both of us doing work that we like and enjoy. Our health is still excellent. We still think we have the best marriage on
the planet—being together is still our favorite thing ever. We’ve been able to
travel without having to ask my brother to come and be here for my mother. So we took a 5800-mile, 19-day driving trip
across the West to a family reunion. We
both have opportunity to serve the people of our church, whom we love dearly.
Do I still wake up in the middle of the night with a stress
vice-grip in my chest? Sometimes. Old habits die hard. Only now I’m stressing about the election, or
the national debt, or all the work I have to do. Yes, I know that’s stupid, but emotions can
be stupid. So, in those wee hours, I
pray. And I meditate on Philippians 4:6-7. And before long, I’m back to sleep. Most of the time.
But God is still faithful.
In difficult times and sweet. And
the difficulties will return. I know
that. We live in a fallen world. And we’re not getting any younger. But today is…sweet. The strength for tomorrow’s difficulties will
be there when we need it. Part of that
strength will come from the sweetness of today, from the rest that God knew we
needed—which is even more evidence of his abiding faithful care in Jesus
Christ.
